Saturday, February 7, 2009


I have a love/hate relationship with the rain. Sometimes, when I really, really think about it, rain can be nice....but on most days I just hate it because it gets my jeans wet and I always bump into things that are wet which inadvertently makes my clothes wet also. And then I get cold. Okay, maybe I just dislike being really cold because supposedly my blood vessels are closer to my skin so I freeze easier. Like Brian says, I am prone to freezing faster and I would probably die before he does if I were left out in the cold. Mm.. so maybe I DON'T like rain that much. Come to think of it, when do I like rain? I think I like rain when I am snuggly in bed with lots of blankets on top of me and I can actually sleep in. Oh, and when I am in a contemplative mood, which isn't often I 'spose. I like rain when I am next to someone, anyone, to feed off their warmth. I like warmth. I like the way the sun heats up my hair when I walk around outside on a nice summer day. I enjoy laying on warm concrete by the pool. Mm that's my favorite. It's the perfect temperature because right after you get out of the pool, your feet are warm! But the best part about warmth is that there isn't just warmth. There's also heat. Like the heat that lingers on your lips after a never ending kiss. Or the heat the strikes through your heart to your cheeks to make them blush a bright red when you're flustered, but in a good way. And sometimes if you're lucky, that heat turns into fire-- into passion. I love fire. The color, the smell, the fact that it can destroy me if I let it. I tend to like things that have a duality about them, that are powerful and life-threatening all at the same time, yet are capable of salvation. To burn and renew. That's fire. But sometimes it doesn't have to be that complicated. Sometimes fire is good simple, like when it's used to roast a pack of smores which melts into gooey goodness in your mouth. Or after a good worship set or a good conversation, when your heart is on fire for God, beating so closely to His you can feel His hold on your every breath. To sum it up: I would have to say that heat drives me, but love keeps me warm. I feed on love--God's love, people's love, my love for myself and others. It's all soul food to me, my mashed potatoes and gravy. And at the end of the day, it's the only thing that keeps me burning for more.